Carey Hardy, Former Senior Executive pastor at Grace Community Church, gave a great 12 step program to raising a Pharisee. I've found it a helpful list to attempt to avoid in parenting...
1. Majoring on external instead of internal issues
2. Excessive control
3. Overreacting to failure
4. Being unforgiving and impatient.
5. Elevating preference over biblical principle
6. Unnecessary separatism
7. Judging others…other families
8. Being “belligerent”—a fighter
9. Favoritism
10. No humor
11. Building up their self-esteem
12. Lack of genuine spirituality
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